The Mating Rituals of the Werewolf
by watermelyn
Summary: Sirius needs help with a prank. Author's note: Okay, I wrote this a reeeaaalllyyy long time ago and just found it, I don't know if it's good or anything.
1. Chapter 1

'Did you see the look on Snape's face?'

Remus looked up from his book when he heard his fellow roommates' loud, boisterous voices outside the dorm room. The door was pushed open to reveal three 17-year-old boys laughing hysterically to something that was most likely below their maturity level, at least in Remus' opinion. James walked to his four-poster bed and plopped onto it, still laughing. His lithe chaser's frame shook the bed.

'And Avery looked about ready to lay an egg, he was so red!' said short, plump Peter, finding his own bed to the right of Remus'.

'What did you guys do this time?' Remus asked exasperatedly, 'or do I really want to know?'

Suddenly, a great black dog leapt up and started licking his frowning face. Unable to keep from smiling when Sirius acted like this, Remus started giggling, only to receive a mouthful of dog saliva.

'Ew, Padfoot! Disgusting!' Remus rolled over, trying to cover his face quite unsuccessfully. Sirius in dog form was always like this, cuddly and excitable. Much like he was in his human form.

'Aw, Pads. Change back so you can tell Moony all about our latest adventure,' Remus heard James say, but he was mostly drowned out by loud barking. Sirius had jumped down from Remus' bed and had run to Peter, who was now petting a very contented-looking dog.

'James is right, change now,' Peter said. The dog let out a sort of sigh, and in the blink of an eye, he'd returned to his regular human form. He jumped up and skipped over to Remus' bed once more, sitting on the edge.

'That was a very girly skip,' Remus remarked, picking up the book that had fallen to the floor during the dog's attack.

'I'm very hyper!' Sirius said, swinging his legs back and forth off the bed like a child.

'You always are,' James said, chuckling. He had taken out his broom (best of its class) and was polishing it. Peter had joined James on his bed, admiring the broom – or James, Remus wasn't quite sure which.

'Ah, but you wouldn't have me any other way!' Sirius said, fluttering his eyelashes and shooting James his brilliant smile. It was famous among the girls at Hogwarts.

'Anyway, Remy, we decided to pull a prank,' he said. Moony rolled his eyes.

'You guys? A prank? Why, it's unheard of!' He put a hand to his heart in fake consternation, dodging a slap to the head from the boy at the foot of his bed.

'I know, right? So we decided to get the Slytherin boys back for putting itching powder in our Quidditch uniforms. Wormy snuck into the potions classroom and dropped a dung bomb under each of the Slytherin's cauldrons!' James and Peter were laughing again, Wormtail snorting.

'What a mess it made! Professor Dunbrack yelled so loudly and them, and she gave them all detentions Friday night. We left the Ravenclaw's cauldrons alone though,' he finished mischieviously.

'How did Peter get in without being seen?' Remus exclaimed, incredulous.

'He transformed, of course. And he did a _great_ job carrying those dung bombs,' James said, ruffling Peter's hair. Peter reddened. 'Reckon it's the first time Snape got less than an O in Potions.'

Remus was surprised. James and Peter rarely transformed when the moon was full. He smiled at the little blond boy before reverting his attention to Sirius, who was now humming a showtune and waving his arm in front of Remus' face.

'And guess what! Peter got a date!' Peter sharply looked away from James, confusion apparent in his eyes.

'What? I-I did?'

'Well, I was supposed to go to Hogsmeade with Melinda O'Reilly, but she's not really my type. More Peter's, I reckon. So I'll tell her I can't go and that Pete will go instead! I'm a genius. A hungry genius, that is. When's lunch?' Remus was used to Sirius' ideas constantly changing and his perpetual hyper state. He actually liked it, though sometimes it could be quite overwhelming. Not today, though. Remus had spent his free period stufying for the upcoming NEWTs, and was feeling gloomy. He needed cheering up, and Sirius was exactly the person for the job. He could always make Remus smile, no matter what.

'In ten minutes. Now, you should spend the rest of the period studying. Exams are coming up, and –'

'In a month and a half! Not everyone can be the perfect student you are,' said Sirius, pouting.

'Anyway, we'll still be top of the class,' said James arrogantly (yet truthfully).

'You're Head Boy! You should be setting a good example. Peter, why don't you study with me?' Remus coaxed the boy. Peter had always been easily influenced. It was usually easy to get him to do whatever the others wanted.

'Well, ok—'

'Nope! We're going to talk about Lily Evans, aren't we, Wormy? Ooh, and your date.' James started talking animatedly about his girl problems with Peter, who looked apologetic, but then turned his attention to a very self-absorbed James.

Remus shook his head and reopened his Arithmancy book. It was promptly knocked out of his hands by Sirius, who had scooted from the foot of the bed to sit next to Remus. He layed his head on Remus' shoulder.

'Um… hello, can I help you?' Remus said, looking at Sirius' handsome face.

'Yes!' Sirius exclaimed.

'With what?'

'Well, see…' Sirius widened his eyes. 'Merlin! I forgot.'

'Can't have been important then.' Remus found this proximity making him rather claustrophobic.

'Why are you so cuddly lately? I mean, more than usual.'

'I am? Well,' Sirius said slowly, 'I haven't shagged anyone in nearly a month.' He nodded once quickly. 'It's a new record for me,' he whispered, as if it was a big secret. It wasn't. Practically every girl in school swooned over Sirius, and most above the age of 13 had gone on some sort of date with him. He'd even been with a few blokes before, he didn't really seem to care about the gender. Sirius was practically a legend, and even the teachers had heard about his exploits.

After the seventh time Sirius had walked into the dorm late at night (or early in the morning), announcing he'd shagged some random girl, Remus had stopped counting. Tales of Remus' adventures weren't quite so widespread, mainly because he didn't have any, neither did James nor Peter. Up until last year, James still thought the best way to get a girl's (or Lily's) attention was by insulting her, and Peter was just hopeless.

'I'm hungry!' Sirius interrupted Remus' thoughts.

'You said that already.'

'I hope there's roast beef with that yummy gravy. It's probably maybe my favourite. I also like the fried dumplings, but this one time, I ate them and…' Sirius continued with a story Remus had probably heard at least four times, but it was easier to let him talk.

He reached over to his bedside table, grabbing some of the chocolate he always kept there. Sirius eyed it hungrily, but didn't dare take any. He'd learned his lesson about chocolate the first week of Hogwarts ever, when Remus had given him a black eye for trying to take some. He, nor any of the other students at Hogwarts, had ever touched Remus' chocolate again.

Sirius continued to babble, now onto the subject of the pros and cons of spellotape, not noticing that Remus wasn't really paying attention. The young werewolf looked over to James' bed, where Peter was nodding frequently to something James had just said. His face was flushed slightly.

Remus sometimes thought that he didn't really deserve his friends, even if Peter was sometimes a little boring and Sirius not boring enough. He had been so lucky when the Sorting Hat had declared him a Gryffindor. At first he'd been less than happy about his dormmates.

Sirius Orion Black; who was from a very pure-blood family that openly used Dark Magic and turned down their noses to werewolves as much as muggleborns.

James Potter; a boy who, even during their first year, had already started playing pranks on the girls and was trying to assert his natural leadership (in other words, being bossy).

Peter Pettigrew; a small boy who easily could have passed for much younger, and stuttered constantly.

Remus now smiled fondly towards Peter. He sometimes tsill stuttered when he was nervous or excited. Remus now knew that he could never have asked for better friends. He owed so much to them. He returned his attention to Sirius, who was looking at him expanctantly.

'Huh? Did you ask me something?'

'I said, what are you doing this Sunday? It's a Hogsmeade weekend, remember?' Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Don't tell me you were planning to stay here and study!'

'Well, I—'

'I know! We'll meet up at the Three Broomsticks at noon for food and drinks.' Sirius positively beamed at this idea.

'Yeah, but James is going with Lily and Peter with Melinda.'

'Oh… well it'll just be the two of us.'

'You're sure?'

Sirius got a strange look in his eye. Usually, Remus was good at reading Padfoot's many changing moods, but this was totally new.

'Yep. It's a date!' He chuckled, bounced of the bed and ran out the door, yelling 'Lunch time! Food! Omnomnom!'

Remus shook his head and followed him out the door, tailed by James and Peter, who was now asking James what to wear on his date.


	2. Chapter 2

It was chilly outside when Remus walked towards the Three Broomsticks on Sunday. He'd spent nearly all morning and all his money in Honeydukes, replenishing his dwindling supply of chocolate. When he'd stepped out of the warm store, arms full of colourful bags, he'd received a frigid gust of wind to the face which instantly making his teeth chatter.

_It's may!_ He'd thought bitterly. _It's not supposed to be this cold out._ He'd wrapped his Gryffindor scarf even tighter around his neck and had painstakingly made his way to the bookshop. Now, he was nearly at the pub when he spotted James sitting on a bench with Lily, his arm wrapped around her to warm her. They seemed to be arguing about something, but when James saw Remus he smiled and flashed him a quick thumbs-up. Remus shook his head and grinned. He guessed it was going well for James. Lily and him almost never agreed on anything, but they liked arguing and could bicker over any subject for hours, enjoying it thoroughly.

_Like a little married couple_, Remus thought. He arrived at the Three Broomsticks and entered the crowded pub. The smell of different bodies crammed together and various drinks assaulted his nose. It was very sensitive, due to his lycanthropy. He navigated his way through filled tables towards the back of the pub, where he was sure Sirius was sitting. Every Hogsmeade trup (and often during weekdays when they would sneak out), the Marauders would sit here, where less people came and there was more privacy. James and Sirius preferred this spot because they could discuss plans for pranks without anyone interrupting or overhearing.

He caught sight of Sirius' black head and made his way to the booth. Slipping in beside him, he saw that Sirius had already had one Butterbeer and was onto his second. He's also taken the liberty of ordering Remus one, and it was slightly warm when he took a sip.

'You're late!' proclaimed Sirius, wiping some froth from his mouth.

'Am not.' Remus checked his watch. 'I'm two minutes early.'

'Wanker. I don't know how you can always be early to everything. Waiting for stuff is just so… _boring_.' His eyes widened comically and he threw his hands up in the air.

'It's better than being late, though.'

'No. Waiting is a problem for me.'

'I see that. You were early here though. How come?'

'Well…' Sirius took a deep breath. 'Apparently, Pete's date didn't go so well. From what I understand, he tried to use one of those terrible pick-up lines James taught him. I guess Melinda didn't like that. Can't blame her, really. I mean, 'my love for you burns like a dying phoenix'? I bet even a first year could do better than that. Well, Melinda told him to sod off and he came to find me, crying, you know? I had to walk him back to the castle, comfort him and stuff, and by the time I got back here it was a quarter to noon so I just decided to wait here. Which was probably one of the worst decisions of my life.' He somehow managed to say all this in 17 seconds. Remus had timed him.

'Hey, Pads.'

'Yeah?'

'Slow down.'

'Oh, sod off.'

'Nah, that's okay.'

Remus back comfortably and took a big gulp of his butterbeer.

'Hey, Pads.'

'Whaaaaaaaat,' Sirius said, drawing the word out in annoyance.

'What was the real reason you turned Melinda down? I mean, she's pretty enough, if only a fifth year.'

'Yeah…'

'Well?'

'I've been, uh, going more for blokes lately.' He said this quietly, as if Remus would be mad at him for his confession.

'You're a poof?'

'No, you wanker.'

'What are you then?' Remus was curious as to why Sirius had just admitted this to him. It would have been easier to lie. He probably hadn't even told James.

'Does it matter?'

'Not really, I guess,' Remus said and finished his Butterbeer.

'Oh! Why did the dinosaur cross the road?' It was a wonder Remus didn't get whiplash trying to keep up with Sirius' many changing moods.

'Why?'

'Because the chicken didn't exist yet!' Sirius burst out laughing, while Remus looked at him blankly. Seeing Remus' baffled expression, he let out an uncharacteristically high shriek.

'Don't tell me you've never heard the chicken joke! Why, it's an outrage! Blashpemy!'

The rest of the afternoon continued in playful banter, until three o'clock, when Sirius became… serious again.

'And then the Japanese golfer says… Oh my Rowling! I just remembered something!'

'That's not funny,' Remus said, confused.

'No, no. Me. The thing I couldn't remember before!'

'Well, that really clears it up.' Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius was famous for his short memory, as well as his short attention span. 'Well, what is it?'

The dark haired boy looked around in a cautious manner, as if anyone could overhear him. There was only one wizard in a dark cloak in the proximity, passed out and surrounded by empty Firewhiskey bottles. It was getting late in the afternoon and students had begun to slowly trickle back towards the castle. It made for a much emptier, quieter pub. Sirius leaned in to whisper into Remus' ear.

'No one is going to hear you, you know. You can just say it out loud.'

Sirius looked offended. He put a hand to his heart dramatically.

'Something of this magnitude cannot simply be said out loud!' He quickly whispered his secret and leaned back to see his friend's reaction. As expected, Remus' eyes widened in shock and disapproval. He looked at Sirius sternly and put on his best prefect voice.

'No way! You cannot do that. I will _not_ help you!'

Of course, Sirius was particularly good at puppy-dog eyes.

'Awww, please Moony! It'll be fun!'

'_Fun_ is not the word I would have used to describe that.'

'Pleasepleasepleaseplease!'

'I would have used words such as mean, illegal, risky and _mean_!'

'You said mean twice.'

'Well, it's very mean. I'm not going to let you get us expelled just before graduation!'

Sirius pouted again, doing his best imitation of a begging dog. It was just that that he didn't transform.

'What would it take to convince you?'

'I don't know. Nothing can. And that's final. Now, we should be going. I still want to study a bit before supper time.' Remus got up and walked away without a glance back to Sirius, whose eyes had taken on that strange look again.

'We'll see about that,' he muttered somewhat menacingly under his breath. Remus heard him, but deep down, he thought that it would not actually take a lot to convince him to do what Sirius was asking.

Normally, Remus suspected, Sirius would have enlisted the help of James, his right hand man. However, since James became Head Boy, he didn't partake in his friend's bigger schemes. Dung bombs and itching powder were about the extent of his activities lately. It was a good thing, too, because Sirius often got caught, dragging Peter to detention with him. It was a wonder they both weren't expelled (yet). If Sirius' latest idea went as planned, there could be a chance that that would change. And only weeks before graduating.

Remus sighed as he made his way to the door. He loved his friends, yes, but they could be so idiotic sometimes.

Sirius caught up with him after having paid for their many drinks and immediately started joking and talking about subjects completely different than what he'd proposed inside. Remus shivered.

'Do you want my cloak?' Sirius asked, uncharacteristically gallant.

'Huh? No, you'll freeze.' Remus frowned, eyeing his shorter friend with suspicion.

'No, here.' Sirius stopped and took off his cloak, draping it around Remus' thin and shabby coat. He looked around and quickly transformed into the shaggy black dog Remus loved so much.

'That's, uh, very gentlemanly of you. Gentledogly? I don't know.' Remus was puzzled. Padfoot rubbed against him and continued walking, uttering a soft bark.

'Thanks Padfoot.' They spent the whole walk to the castle in a comfortable silence, Sirius being oddly calm and quiet. Remus didn't know what to make of it. He'd only seen Sirius like this when he was deep in thought, which wasn't very often, or when he was trying to impress a girl, which Remus definitely wasn't. Even when he slept, Sirius mumbled and talked, sometimes having entire conversations with himself in between snores.

Even after he'd transformed back, after supper and after they reached Gryffindor Tower, Sirius just smiled at James and Peter and found his bed. He took out a book – a _book_ – and began quietly reading. He didn't even asked what had happened with Peter's date. Remus sat on his own bed and pulled out a Care of Magical Creatures textbook and started reading too, but it wasn't nearly as unusual to find Remus studying than Sirius.

'Hey, Moony!' James was waving him over to his bed, where Peter was already sitting. He regretfully closed his book (he was reading a very amusing section on the mating rituals of the werewolf) and joined the already whispering boys.

'What's with Sirius?' Peter inquired.

'Dunno. I think he's up to something,' Remus said as looked over to Sirius' bed.

'I didn't know that Padfoot had enough patience to read,' James said, confused. 'Hey, Sirius!' Sirius looked up, startled by James' sudden loudness. 'Whatcha reading?'

'Oh… ah, nothing. It's nothing.'

'Nothing seems to be very interesting,' said Peter, smiling. Sirius simply blinked at him, looked down and continued reading.

'Yep. Definitely up to something,' James said, leaning against the wall.

'So James, tell old Remus here what happened with Lily. You seemed okay when I saw you this morning' Remus said, only pretending to be concerned. He knew their latest row wasn't that bad. They never were.

'Well, everything _was_ okay. More than okay. We were having a particularly fascinating argument on Muggle fashions when I mentioned our good friend Snivellus. I said he looked like he came from the streets, and that he was insufferable because of his lonely childhood or something.'

'And then, she just changed moods so quickly! One minute, she was just acting normal, teasing and bickering with me, the next she was acting as if she needed a spot in the psycho ward in St. Mungo's! She went crazy, yelling at me about stuff I didn't understand. And then – get this – she screams out – in front of everyone – 'You're an ignorant prick, James Potter, and I don't know why I ever agreed to go out with you in the first place!' I mean, can you believe her? And then…'

Remus was no longer listening. He chose instead to stare at Sirius. The sun was setting on his moment, Remus realized why Sirius was so sought after by men and women alike. Sirius was _beautiful._ But then, the ray of sunlight shifted, the moment was gone, and Remus was back to puzzling over his friend's behaviour. He momentarily zoned back to Peter and James' conversation, which now seemed to be centered upon Melinda O'Reilly's many (and hitherto unknown and unnoticed) flaws.

_ Riveting_, Remus thought. He got up and made his way to his big bed, navigating through pillows, books, trunks and general mess to get there.

'Guys, I'm going to bed early, so cast a Silencing charm or something, will you?' He sat on his bed and undressed down to his ratty red and gold boxers. He didn't notice Sirius' eyes flicking to him, appraisingly. He pulled the curtains around his bed and got under the covers. They were a bit cold, but he cast a heating charm so his toes wouldn't be too frosty.

He thought about Sirius' ridiculous idea. Five cauldrons of love potion? Remus _would_ be able to do it, yes, but it was so stupid and childish.

_ And hilarious_, said a tiny but determined voice in his mind. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Sirius'…

_It's immature_, he kept repeating to himself, like a mantra. But the tiny Sirius-voice was whiny and nagging.

_Aw, come on Moony!_ It said. _When's the last time you had fun? Real, actual fun with a prank?_

_ No! This isn't fun!_

_ Yes it is, come _on_. Last time you helped James and Sirius was so long ago._

_ No!_

_ Third year, wasn't it? Right before the Prank?_

_ I still haven't forgiven Sirius for that, you know._

_ Of course I know. I'm you. But whatever! You need to let loose. You're graduating! It's your last chance to cause a little mayhem._

_ I don't want to cause mayhem…_ Remus thought weakly. He knew he was fighting a losing battle. But _five cauldrons_ of love potion. Enough for the whole Slytherin Quidditch team. That would require too much time and ingredients he didn't have. Remus would just have to tell Sirius it wasn't possible, to think of another prank he could partake in. Sirius wouldn't like that…

And with that thought, Remus' brown eyes closed and he fell asleep, a frown still on his face.

What felt like only minutes later, Remus awoke abruptly. It was still dark, and he could see the shining glimmer of the half-moon through the window. What had made him wake up? He heard two sets of snore, and tried to fall asleep once more.

_ Hang on, _he thought sleepily,_ two sets? Something's wrong._

He listened carefully. There was James' quiet rumblings, and Peter's train-like wails… where was Sirius' high-pitched whistle? Remus sat up as to better look around, but his foot brushed something cold and alien. Another foot. And not his.

'ARRRRGHH! Sirius! What the bloody hell are you doing?'

Sirius had climbed into bed with him.

'Shh, you'll wake up Wormy and Prongs,' Sirius whispered.

'Bloody idiot! What are you playing at? Go back to your own bed.' Remus scooted backwards, against the wall. In the moonlight, he saw Sirius was only wearing underwear, like him.

'Why would I go back to my bed? Yours is so much warmer,' Sirius said in what Remus swore was supposed to be a seductive voice.

'Are – you – mental?' Remus was absolutely horrified.

'Maybe a little. But that's okay, Moony.' His voice was much closer than before.

'Sirius, I –' He was silenced by rough lips finding his own. His instincts responded automatically, deepening the kiss. He pushed opened the other, unfamiliar mouth, slipped his tongue inside. It felt so warm and wonderful, and he never wanted it to end and _Oh Merlin…_

The Sirius-voice in his head rejoiced. This brought Remus back to reality, thinking of it as his Sirius-voice. His brain caught up with his mouth and he pulled away from Sirius, practically pushing him off the bed.

'WHAT. THE. HELL!' Remus exclaimed, not caring if Peter and James woke now.

'Shh!' Sirius was looking a little hurt, but the glint in his eyes told Remus that he was happy. Ecstatic, even. Or maybe it was just the moonlight…

'Merlin's balls, Sirius! What do you think you're doing?'

'Well, I was having a good snog with my best mate, but now I'm explaining what I think I'm doing which is explaining what I think I'm doing which is –'

'OKAY. Rewind! The whole 'good snog with my best mate' bit. What was that all about?'

Sirius smirked.

'Well, you enjoyed it, didn't you?'

'Yes,' the Sirius-voice said, and his mouth followed. He panicked. 'I mean, NO! I did not enjot it one bit! It was disgusting and wet and – mmmpphh!'

Sirius had kissed him again, soft and sweet this time. He raised a hand to cup Remus' face. Remus practically melted– against his will, of course. Sirius slowly pulled back.

'You're quite sure you didn't enjoy that?'

'Well, maybe a little…' Sirius-voice was winning again. 'But that doesn't mean I want you to do it it again!'

_Yes it does!_

'Yes it does!' Real Sirius said.

_You should get another voice in here. Why not Peter? He'd do whatever I say_, Remus-voice said angrily. Then Real Remus realized how stupid it was that he was having fake conversations like this in his head.

'Yes it does.' He leaned in a pressed his lips to Sirius'. He felt the answering grin against his face, and an unexpected warmth down below.

Neither boy noticed that only one set of snores could now be heard, and that the moon had shifted to reveal James sitting up and staring wide-eyed with shock and bewilderment towards Remus' bed. His mouth hung open, unable to close.

Only Peter was able to get a good rest that night.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning found the Marauders sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, though only two of the four were eating their breakfast. Sirius had cheerfully sat beside Remus, almost annoyingly chipper. He practically inhaled his food, joking boisterously the whole time. Remus, on his left, was as quiet as usual, but had what seemed to be a permanent smile fixed to his face. He kept his head down as if embarrassed, his eyes on the untouched plate before him. When Remus felt Sirius find and squeeze his hand beneath the table, he blush's colour rivaled the red of the Gryffindor hourglass. Any normal person would have said he looked adorable.

Not James, though. James would have said absolutely nothing at all. Now, all he could manage to do was stare at Sirius reproachfully, occasionally glancing at Remus. The phrase 'if looks could kill' was fitting. He hadn't even bothered to put food on his plate.

'I have a pimple in my ear!' Peter announced cheerfully. 'It hurts like hell,' he said, stuffing French toast and eggs in the bottomless pit that was his mouth. Sirius laughed loudly, seemingly oblivious to the death stare James seemed intent on perfecting. Remus chuckled too.

'S'not as bad as the one you have on your face,' Sirius said, suddenly solemn. Peter's hands flew to his face.

'What pimple? Is it big?' Peter felt his face nervously.

'Enormous. No, wait—that's your nose1' :oud guffaws erupted from Sirius and from the few Gryffindors surrounding the Marauders.

'Wanker!' Peter said. He looked at Sirius sourly, who was looking at Remus expectantly, who was looking at James (taking in his expression), who was not looking at Peter. He was, in fact, looking just beyond Peter, where a very pretty redhead could be seen walking down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables. And Lily was determinedly not looking at James, her emerald green eyes fixed directly ahead angrily.

'Hm, so I take it your date with Lily didn't go so well?' Sirius asked, genuinely concerned.

'No,' was James' only terse reply. Finally, Sirius noticed what mood his best mate was in. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anymore.

'Gotta get to Divination guys, see ya!' said Peter, stuffing one last pancake into his mouth and running off, bag in hand. Without a word, James stood up and followed him, casting one last murderous glance at Sirius. Remus stood up and held out his hand to help his friend.

'Time for Ancient Runes, Pads. Coming?' Sirius did not let go of Remus' hand after he had stood up and grabbed hold of his bag. He looked up to the slightly taller Remus, grinning hugely. Slowly raising Moony's hand to his lips, he pressed a soft kiss to it.

'Not here! People will see!' Remus tried sounding cross, but he didn't think he succeeded, as he was smiling from ear to ear.

'You're right, you're right. Then let's say you and I go find an empty classroom somewhere so we can do that and much more privately,' Sirius said flirtatiously. Remus blushed.

'Mm, tempting, but we can't miss Ancient Runes.' Remus reluctantly tugged his hand free from Sirius' and started walking towards the grand doors. Sirius caught up with him, looking truly disappointed.

'That's not true! We'll still be top of the class, and you know it,' he said petulantly.

'If you miss another class, you could get kicked off the Quidditch team.' He used the tone of the voice that used to be reserved for prefect duty.

'Aw, Moony!' They set off for Ancient Runes, Sirius pouting like a child the whole way.

Remus wasn't really sure about this whole affair. Sure, he'd enjoyed snogging Sirius last night, but before that first kiss, he hadn't even known he was gay. Or at least, that he was capable of liking boys. A werewolf, a muggleborn AND gay. What a combination! No matter how many times Sirius had tried to explain to him that in the wizarding world there was a whole different set of prejudices, Remus couldn't wrap his mind around it.

There was also the fact that this was _Sirius_. Padfoot. Snuffles, sometimes. Rulebreaker extraordinare. His best mate. The one who told him all his secrets, even the ones he apparently didn't tell James. Sirius, the one to come up with the Animagus idea. Sirius, the one who had helped Remus with Charms their first year and whom Remus had helped with Defence in return. And even though Sirius had proved he could be an untrustworthy little git (the Prank came to mind), was it really worth risking their friendship for what was (probably) a couple meaningless snogs?

And then Remus had an epiphany. Not the 'Oh-My-Godric-All-My-Problems-Are-Solved' kind, either. The 'Oh-Shit-You've-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me' kind.

The whole of Ancient Runes was spent with Remus doing his best impression of this morning's James and a very confused Sirius. Even after the class was done, Remus refused to talk to his friend. When Sirius tried to get him alone throughout the day, Remus devoutly avoided him, making up poor excuses that Sirius didn't believe for a second. The fifth time, right after lunch, Sirius felt he'd had enough. The four Marauders were walking towards Herbology when Sirius stopped Remus, urging the other two to go on.

'What's wrong with you?' Sirius demanded, more than a little hurt. He'd never been turned down by _anyone _before.

'Nothing's wrong, really,' Remus lied. He tried to get away but Sirius stopped him by grabbing his arm.

'Tell me the truth!'

They both tried to ignore the strange feeling that had been ignited by Sirius' rough touch. Remus looked down at his arm, taking a deep breath.

'Okay. What are you doing? Don't think I don't know what your plan is – trying to get into my pants just so I'll say yes to brewing those stupid potions. Well, I'm not going to put up with that!' Remus yelled heatedly, not caring that they were in a crowded corridor and that anybody could hear. Sirius was quite speechless for a second, but that never lasts and he regained his voice quickly.

'Do you really think I'd do that to you?' he said softly.

_No_, Remus thought.

'Yes,' is what he said.

'How!'

'I don't know! But I have to think here! Why me? Why not James or Peter? Why did you have to get in _my_ bed last night, why did you have to go and snog _me_? Because I'm the only one who can give you what you want, and everyone knows that what Sirius Black wants, Sirius Black gets. Well, I don't know how much you want me, but you sure aren't getting me. ' Remus turned on his heel and marched off towards the greenhouses, leaving a once more speechless Sirius standing in a slowly emptying corridor.


	4. Chapter 4

That night, the seventh year boys' dormitory was unusually quiet. Only Peter, whom noboday had told what was going on, was talking, but soon gave up when he noticed that his friends were all in terrible moods and did not feel like chatting. Eventually, he got tired of it.

'What's going on here? You're all acting as if you lost a sock or you're getting expelled or something.' Leave it to Peter to compare socks to getting kicked out of school.

'Nothing is wrong,' said Remus through clenched teeth. He had his nose buried in a book, as usual, but he wasn't really paying attention.

'Yes, there is,' said Sirius and James in unison.

'Okay then, James, you first. What's on your mind?' said Peter, playing the psychologist.

'What's on my mind is the fact that two people can be absolute best mates since first year, but still don't have the respect to tell each other things like who they want to snog and who they fancy,' said James with a snarl. Sirius, sitting on his own bed, recoiled as if James had slapped him in the face.

'It never bothered you before,' he said quietly, hurt evident in his voice.

'Yeah, well before was different!' James' voice raised.

'How?' Peter was quite concerned. 'Did Sirius and Lily—'

'No!' barked Sirius. 'Never. I'd never do that to you.' Though this was addressed to James, Sirius was looking at Remus across the dormitory. His stare was sad; pleading. Remus didn't even look up from his book.

'Well, what happened? Padfoot?' Peter's eyes were huge and bewildered. He had stood up and placed himself in the middle of the room, looking from one side to the other. His head was moving so fast; it would have been quite comical in different circumstances.

'Nothing happened except our two wonderful bets mates decided to have a little snogfest in Remus' bed last night!' James exclaimed, angry and confused. Peter gasped.

'What? I-Is this true?' Once again, he looked at Sirius.

'Yes,' Sirius said defiantly, 'do you have a problem with that?'

'Well, n-no I guess,' Peter stuttered, 'not i-if you really like M-Moony. It shouldn't be a-a problem.'

'The question is though, _does he_ really like Remus? Because I'm not going to let him use Moony for sex or whatever just because he feels like it!' James had gotten up and advanced to Sirius' bed, breathing hard.

Remus had finally raised his head to reveal eyes full of tears. 'So, do you?' he whispered.

Sirius looked taken aback but still as determined as ever.

'I-yeah, I do. I've been wanting to do what I did last night all year. I didn't do it because of some stupid potions, you have to believe me!' Sirius pleaded loudly.

'I would've said yes eventually, you know. It would have been pretty funny. But now I'm not so sure.'

'Sorry, what?' said James, bemused. Both Peter and James were standing there, utterly bewildered.

'Sorry James, can't tell you!' Sirius said brightly before turning to Remus once again. He opened his mouth to speak but Peter cut him off.

'I think you should tell him before he hurts you.' Sirius looked at James, who was turning an alarming colour of red.

'Ah, we were gonna, no, sorry, _I_ was gonna slip love potions to the Slytherin Quidditch team so they'd be in love with random people and professors all over Hogwarts,' Sirius said hurriedly. Peter gave a nervous laugh but stopped when he saw James' face.

'And why couldn't you tell me?' James' voice had gone an octave higher than normal in his anger.

'Because,' Sirius said exasperatedly, 'you're Head Boy! And Pete, as much as I love you, you would have told James eventually, I know it.' He smiled patiently. Suddenly, James started laughing hysterically. Peter looked at him, clearly alarmed, and Remus and Sirius both had the same cautious look on their faces. When James finally stopped laughing, he looked a Sirius and smiled genuinely.

'Well, all's well that ends well, right? I think I'll allow Sirius to snog Remus, and for Remus to reciprocate. I also think that Pete here should get a degree in Magical Psychology or something,' he said, bossily as ever. The angry version of himself had not suited him at all. 'And as Head Boy, I must tell you that under no circumstances can I allow you to proceed with your silly little practical joke,' he said in his most pompous manner. 'However, as your best mate, I've got to tell you to go for it, I can't wait to see your little brother mooning over McGonagall, Pads!' He chuckled as he returned to his bed and put on his pyjamas.

'Bossy little thing,' Peter said to no one in particular, following suit.

'I'm going to bed. Coming, Moony?' Sirius winked in Remus's direction. But Remus wasn't there.

'Bloody hell! Where'd he go?' Sirius exclaimed as he rushed out the dorm and down the stairs.


	5. Chapter 5

Fortunately, Sirius knew most of Remus' hiding spots. He knew that sometimes Moony liked to go to the astronomy tower to look at the stars (not the moon though, never the moon) and sometimes he liked to go to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, behind Hagrid's hut all alone. But Sirius knew where his friend would go tonight, because it's exactly where he would go. So when Sirius reached the edge of the black lake and silently found their favourite tree in the dark, he wasn't surprised to see a tall, too thin figure sitting with its back against the centuried-old oak with the lumpy shape of James' invisibility cloak next to it. He _was_ surprised, however, to hear an angry voice emanating from the spot. Since the wind had died down from yesterday, the voice carried well, and Sirius could easily hear from where he was standing ten meters away.

'I don't even know what he wants from me! I mean, I'm not even gay, you know? Or at least, I don't think so. I've only ever fancied girls. Sure, I enjoyed snogging him last night, probably too much, but I still don't know how I feel,' said the voice. Sirius crept closer. 'This is Sirius we're talking about here. I love him like a brother, but as more, I don't know. Well,' here he paused and sighed, 'maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. It was just an hour or so of snogging.' Remus sighed once more, sadly, longingly. Sirius was now withing touching distance of the tree, and chose this moment to speak.

'Moony, who are you talking to?' he said softly. Remus turned, startled to find Sirius there.

'The giant squid. He's a very good listener,' Remus said looking at Sirius with baleful brown eyes.

'I bet.' Sirius sat down next to him, and when Remus didn't pull away, he slowly put an arm around the other boy.

'How much of that did you here?' Remus whispered. He put his head on Sirius' shoulder.

_I feel like we're in a muggle movie_, Sirius thought. _I need popcorn. I'm hungry!_

'Enough,' he said. Remus sighed again, his warm breath tickling Sirius' ear pleasantly.

'I don't know what to think, Pads.'

'Everything I said in the dorm is true, you know. I've been wanting to ask you out all year.'

'Why didn't you?'

'I did though, didn't I? And then I did what I would do to any other girl or boy I went on a date with: I snogged them!' Sirius said brightly, but his smile vanished when Remus suddenly pushed him away.

'I'm not any other girl or boy!' he said angrily. 'Well, not any other girl for sure. I'm Remus facking Lupin, your best mate! I don't want to lose you over something like this.' His breath hitched and his voice raised an octave in his distress.

'Would you rather have me as just a friend, knowing what we could be, or would you rather actually _be_ it? You have to take risks sometime, Remus!'

_Oh Godric, this is so cheesy. Bring on the violins. And the popcorn!_

Remus took a deep breath and looked at Sirius steadily.

'I'd be a pretty bad Gryffindor if I said no, right?'

'McGonagall would personally throw you out of Gryffindor tower,' Sirius said gravely.

'I-I guess we could try. But I don't know the first thing about being gay.' Remus returned his head to Sirius' very comfortable shoulder.

'You're 17, for Godric's sake! You don't know about gay sex? Anyway, just because you're with me doesn't mean you're gay.' Remus looked at Sirius, eyebrow cocked. Sirius had always been jealous of Remus' eyebrow-raising skills.

'What does it mean then?'

'It means you're Sirius-sexual. That's a new sexual orientation.' Sirius said matter-of-factly. Remus chuckled.

'Not new, no. Hogwarts students have been suffering from it since first year.' Remus nodded, looking amused.

'Suffering! Does this feel like suffering to you?' and with that, Sirius pressed his full, soft lips to Remus' thin ones for a sweet, close-mouthed kiss.

'Well, no, I suppose not,' the recipient of the kiss said critically, but his eyes were alight and his grin was wide. Sirius was suddenly away of the cold and the rough bark against his back.

'Why don't we continue this upstairs where it's warm and comfortable?' Sirius stood up eagerly.

'And where Pete and James are watching our every move?' But Remus jumped up just as impatiently.

'I haven't been practicing Silencing Charms all year for nothing, you know!' Sirius slipped his arm around Remus' shoulders once more.

'Oh, you had this specific scenario in mind while studying, did you?' The shorter boy nestled in against Sirius' side.

'Well, yes! Oh, and by the way, sad throat.'

'What!'

'When your throat gets all funny from trying to stop yourself from crying. I call it sad throat.'

'Oh my _Godric_. You're so weird.' Remus rolled his eyes.

'Git!'

'Hey now! Let's go back inside.'

'Right. I'm hungry.'

'Is food all you ever think about?'

Remus felt he had probably never been happier in his life than he was at that moment and as they made their way back to the castle, he couldn't help but think that being Sirius-sexual was a very good way to be.

'Now, about the love potions…'

The end

Author's note: Thanks for reading Reviews and constructive criticism are ALWAYS welcome. Also, if you see any mistakes, typos or errors in the canon side of this, feel free to tell me. Love, Karolyn


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